Disciplined Emotions

People have just two choices when it comes to their emotions: they can master their emotions or be mastered by them. That doesn’t mean that to be a good team player, you have to turn off your feelings. But it does not mean that you shouldn’t let your feelings prevent you from doing what you should or drive you to do things you shouldn’t.

A classic example of what can happen when a person doesn’t discipline his emotions can be seen in the life of golf legend Bobby Jones. Like today’s Tiger Woods, Jones was a gold prodigy. He began playing in 1907 at age five. By age twelve, he was scoring below par, an accomplishment most golfers don’t achieve in a lifetime of playing the game. At age fourteen, he qualified for the U.S. Amateur Championship. But Jones didn’t win that event. His problem can be best described by the nickname he acquired: “club thrower.” Jones often lost his temper – and his ability to play well.

An older golfer whom Jones called Grandpa Bart advised the young man, “You’ll never win until you can control that temper of yours.” Jones took his advice and began working to discipline his emotions. At age twenty-one, Jones blossomed and went on to be one of the greatest golfers in history, retiring at age twenty-eight after winning the grand slam of golf. Grandpa Bart’s comment sums up the situation: “Bobby was fourteen when he mastered the game of golf, but he was twenty-one when he mastered himself.”

People who often experience relational difficulties are tempted to look at everyone but themselves to explain the problem. But we must always begin by examining ourselves and being willing to change whatever deficiencies we have. Critic Samuel Johnson advised that “he who has so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition will waste his life in fruitless efforts and multiply the grief which he purposes to remove.”

The human mind has a tremendous amount of power in our lives. That which holds our attention determines our actions. Because of that, where we are today is the result of the dominating thoughts in our minds. And the way we think determines what our attitudes are. The good news is that you and I can change that. You can control your thoughts, and because of that, you can control your attitude. The point is that your thinking prompts your emotion. Why is that important? Because your attitude is your emotional approach to life. It’s the framework through which you see events, other people, even yourself. That’s why you can believe in the saying, You are not what you think you are, but what you think… you are.”

Business book summaries in Acrobat PDF, Powerpoint, PDA, HTML, Mindmap, Video and Audio formats where you can get the freshest business ideas and tactics in minutes! Visit http://www.bizsum.com.

9 Things a Leader Must Do

All these people were very different from one another. A good number of them were in business or other arenas of leadership, but they had different backgrounds, different personalities, different economic circumstances, and different abilities. However, they were the same in that they shared this particular way of handling life and work. And that commonality is the déjà vu experience.

For successful leaders, the invisible world is where the real life is. The same is true at all levels of leadership in the business world. Every blockbuster deal, every new rung on the corporate ladder, every project design, every company merger, and every successful sales campaign begins in the invisible soul of human beings. Leadership success is the process of digging up the treasures of the invisible soul in order to bring dreams, desires, and talents into the visible world.

Déjà vu leaders evaluate almost everything they do in this way. They see every behavior and decision as links in a larger chain, steps in a direction that has a destination. And they see these links in directions, the good and the bad. They think way to attain the good things they want in life and to avoid the bad things they don’t want. In short, they rarely do anything without thinking of the ultimate consequences. They play the whole movie, so to speak.

Déjà vu leaders tend to call on themselves as the first source to correct difficult situations. It doesn’t matter whether they think they are to blame or not. Even if someone else is at fault, they take initiative to address the problem and seek a solution. Whatever the answer may be, déjà vu leaders make a move.

Déjà vu leaders are different. They value the little increments, the tiny steps. Wanting it now keeps you from having it. Taking the long road, one tiny step at a time, will actually get you there faster because you will not lose time by trying shortcuts.

Déjà vu leaders have transcended the need for revenge. Their first goal is to make things better for the other person or group. The other’s benefit is their utmost concern. That does not mean they have no interest in their own benefits. It simply means that in their treatment of others, their goal is to do well by them regardless of how they are treated. They don’t play fair; they play right.

Déjà vu leaders go against the odds if the odds are against what is right. They are willing to be the odd one, risking loss of approval in order to do the right thing. They understand that the approval of others does not go very far in making one truly fulfilled. It may be nice for a moment, but getting up everyday and doing what you believe in is much more lasting.

The principles are available to everyone. Do not see leadership success as a goal that you cannot attain or a prize only for special or lucky people. Success is never embodied in a person, but in the ways of wisdom that transcend any one individual. What déjà vu leaders do is find those ways and practice them.

Be encouraged to embark on a path of putting them into practice into your own life and becoming a déjà vu leader.